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I feel you, Georgie. I feel you. 

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"

TIFU by going on an OKCupid date. Ended up in Jail. (self.tifu)

Short story first, meta story later:

I have been “dating” again, and like many 20-somethings in Brooklyn, I have been doing with the aid of the internet. After browsing the dating pool on the popular dating site “OKCupid” I found myself texting this girl a couple times. I suggest we meet in prospect park and walk around.

For those of you who have never been, Prospect Park is a bit bigger than your standard “park.” Designed Fredrick Law Olmstead in 1850something, this thing is almost 600 acres with tons of small paths and arches and small corners. When she suggested we bring a couple canned beers along for the walk, I was into it. I figure, keep them in bags, spend some time on the lass traveled bits and have a nice date walking and talking and sipping.

Around 2 hours into our date, we find a nice little bench by the water to hang out. After about 20 minutes of chilling a GIANT police cruiser pulls up. Anyone who is relatively irresponsible in New York knows what happens next: they take your ID, run it to look for warrants, and after they determine you are not wanted for anything more serious, they write you a $25 ticket and leave you alone.
We sit on the bench for what seems like a while, patiently waiting for them to do their thing, making short jokes about our records and how this is going to make a great story. I noticed there was an issue when I saw the first office get out of the car with only one license/ticket. The other guy got out and started unloading the stuff from his back seat to the trunk.

I vividly remember getting an open container offense a couple years ago (different park), but I only vaguely remember paying my $25. Turns out I didnt. 2 hours into a first date, I am in handcuffs, asking her to look after the other 2 beers I brought. There is a small crowd, and right before they cart me off I blurt our “soo„ I guess I will call you?” WINK.

"

— As seen on Reddit

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Fun Fact about neo Nazis:
They hate android phones, and the people that use them, and they’re taller than you. 

Fun Fact about neo Nazis:

They hate android phones, and the people that use them, and they’re taller than you. 

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What prevents someone from laughing probably isn’t their filter, but rather your lack of humorous contribution, skippy. 

Here, maybe this book of jokes will help. 

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A) That is not the emoji translation of that sentence. 
B) Modeling your look after the emoji guy is not really a solid fashion move. 
C) No one likes to go on the ride with the creepy carny barker.

A) That is not the emoji translation of that sentence. 

B) Modeling your look after the emoji guy is not really a solid fashion move. 

C) No one likes to go on the ride with the creepy carny barker.

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When you realize you apparently share not one, BUT TWO interests with a GOT LARP all star like this guy. 
[scratches head… thinks about online personality and the state of dating algorithms]

When you realize you apparently share not one, BUT TWO interests with a GOT LARP all star like this guy. 

[scratches head… thinks about online personality and the state of dating algorithms]

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Congrats on your billionaire existence, and good luck with redefining “easy going” buddy!
eas·y·go·ing

ˈēzēˌgōiNG/

adjective
adjective: easy-going




relaxed and tolerant in approach or manner.
"an outwardly easygoing but fiercely competitive youngster"
synonyms:relaxed, even-tempered, placid, mellow, mild, happy-go-lucky, carefree,free and easy, nonchalant, insouciant, imperturbable; More









antonyms:tense, intolerant

Congrats on your billionaire existence, and good luck with redefining “easy going” buddy!

eas·y·go·ing
ˈēzēˌgōiNG/
adjective
adjective: easy-going
  1. relaxed and tolerant in approach or manner.
    "an outwardly easygoing but fiercely competitive youngster"
    antonyms:tenseintolerant
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None of you business class or coach losers need apply. 
God forbid you take public transportation. 

None of you business class or coach losers need apply. 

God forbid you take public transportation. 

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Oooh, you saucy, saucy minx! 

Scandalous, but let’s DO it!

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What did they call that backdrop from school photo days?
"Sad acid wash"?
So glad you had fun at that celebrity photo booth at that convention that one time, buddy!

What did they call that backdrop from school photo days?

"Sad acid wash"?

So glad you had fun at that celebrity photo booth at that convention that one time, buddy!